Getting Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

Hiking the Sacred Valley in Peru

Writing and travel are the connective tissue binding my life together and helping me understand the world. You’d think at my age, and after more than 30 years of marriage, I’d have most of the important stuff figured out. I’d have accepted myself. All the wrinkles in my marriage would’ve been ironed out. I’d effortlessly juggle career, family, and friends instead of falling into a puddle of overwhelm. But, as a close friend once gently told me, “You seem like you’re a person who’s uncomfortable in your skin.” Ouch. It didn’t help that this particular friend lights up any room she walks into.

She’s right, but instead of shying away from the label, I’ve decided to own it. I’m a person who is comfortably uncomfortable. I’m still trying to figure all the big questions out: Who am I? How do I make this marriage thing work? How come getting together with a group of women can feel like 7th-grade all over again? Can I get a do-over on whole parenting thing and get it right this time?

Those are the questions I think about and tend to blurt out at the most inopportune times. Hey, if I’m going to be uncomfortable, I’d prefer everyone else felt a little itchy, too. Perhaps those are the questions that matter to you as well.

If so, I hope you’ll join me. A Life Unpacked is my attempt to write as if you and I were chatting over a glass of wine or cup of coffee about what matters. I hope you’ll let me know what that is for you.

My husband, Van, and I have covered a lot of ground over the last couple of years, both in our relationship and in crisscrossing South America and planting ourselves in Southern Europe for a couple of months. My professional life has taken me to even more far-flung places: refugee camps in Jordan, remote villages in Ethiopia, Nepal, and Guatemala, and a stint in Pakistan.

I’m thankful for the opportunities I’ve had to work alongside locals in some countries and observe the culture and walk the streets and hills in others. I don’t pretend to know much beyond the thin layer of what can be gleaned as a temporary resident of these culturally rich places. But I can say that I’ve gained a much better understanding of myself.

When Van and I travel, we’re rarely organized enough to plan beyond purchasing a plane ticket and finding a place to stay. In other words, we never know exactly where the journey is going to take us. That’s true of my writing as well. I’m unpacking life – my life – as a Gen-X woman who is – yes – not quite comfortable in her skin, but who’s determined to figure out what she wants to carry with her, and what she’ll leave behind, on the journey.

If you subscribe (and I hope you do), I’ll visit your inbox twice a month – nothing too heavy just some essays that hopefully will provide joy, gratitude, (not without a bit of angst) and some company on this crazy trip we’re on.